My Kuwait Deployment

June 1st, 2008 by squall-ajl

i know this was last year, but since i was made to write about it, i might as well share it. so read on if you would like to..

My Kuwait Deployment

HM2 Alvin John M. Lleva

Last year, I was chosen to deploy to Kuwait in support of the Operation Enduring Freedom. To be honest, it was really nerve wrecking to get deployed for the first time. I didn’t know what to expect. There was that feeling of fear and anxiety, because I had to give up my plans for the year and be in an environment that’s completely alien to me. But at the same time, it thought it was okay because I would still be doing the things that I do everyday anyway, as a Cardiovascular Technologist. Additionally, I knew it was my turn to pay such contribution to the country.

We started out with training before flying to Kuwait. It was two weeks training with the Army. They taught us how to use our firearms properly, what to do when in convoy, how to find our way back to camp if we get lost, and a lot more essential combat and survival skills. Although during my whole time in Kuwait, I have never even held a gun for even just one second, but it always feels good to know that when the situation calls for it, we will know what to do and not fumble with those weapons. And honestly, I was glad that I didn’t have to use a weapon during my time over there.

I really thought that my whole time in Kuwait would be such a bore, and I told myself, what fun could I possibly have in the middle of the desert? It would be a painful seven months of monotonous routine. At least that’s what I thought it would be. But I was wrong. All those books that I had brought with me to read to kill time since reading was my favorite hobby were left untouched until it was time for me to come home. I had the opportunity to do a lot of things in Kuwait and at the same time learn a lot of stuff. When we got there, I told myself that I would just make the best out of the deployment and keep myself busy. And that meant taking on a lot of command collateral duties, in addition to my responsibilities for my department. I was the only technician for my department for the first couple of months until my peer came onboard, and I’m proud to say that I had kept my clinic running smoothly even with just myself to run it. It wasn’t really boring after all, especially the first couple of months when mass casualties were brought to us for almost every other day. We had the privilege to serve our wounded troops, as well as the local casualties that were brought to us from vehicular accidents and job related mishaps. And the feeling to serve people that way was rewarding. We played a huge part for them being able to go back home or their posts safe and well.

The camp itself and the leadership from my command really tried to boost our morale with all the fun activities they had launched. I have made lots of friends too while on deployment, and that helped take the boredom away because we got to do things together and I knew that someone will always be there for me if I need help. I also had the chance to make friends with the civilian employees in the camp. There were a great number of Filipino civilian employees over there that I made friends with so I was able to enjoy those Filipino dishes that I thought I would miss during my deployment. And with their hospitality I really felt at home while away from home. As if my duties at work were not enough to keep me busy, I volunteered to be a part of our camp’s church choir. That I must say really helped me a lot to get by every week. It gave me something to look forward to every week from rehearsals to the mass every Sundays. It also gave me an opportunity to make new friends, go off base from time to time, but most of all, it had brought me much closer to God.

With all those activities my seven months over there really went by quicker that I’ve expected. I must also say that all the stuff that I did to keep me occupied really paid off. Especially career wise. That deployment helped me a lot towards my advancement from the awards I earned to the good evaluations I received that this past cycle, I advanced in rank after numerous tries in the past. And of course nothing could take away the friendships that I will treasure for years to come and the experiences that I can share to other people.

Things I Love About You

June 19th, 2007 by squall-ajl

-19 Jun 2007-

Things I Love About You
-Alvin Lleva-

It’s your smooth dark brown hair
That first caught my attention
Beckoned me to stare
And follow its carefree motion

It’s your ever expressive eyes
Those seem able to see through my soul
There’s no escape for lies
Besides, it’ll only destroy our goals

It’s your gleeful, youthful laugh
That is music to my ears
I can’t always get enough
Without it will surely bring me to tears

It’s your perfect smile
That gets me through the day
Between us might be a thousand miles
But that smile will be in my head to stay

It’s your unwavering thoughtfulness
That always reminds me that I am loved
There is no room for sadness
Your presence has been always the best thing to have

It’s your funny, and well, sometimes corny jokes
Those always give me my best laughs
My raging feelings calm down with each stroke
Ignoring them is just so tough

It’s our very own, cute little pet names
Those show how compatible we really are
Our interests are just the same
That’s why we have gone this far

And most of all, it’s your ever faithful heart
That assures me that I’ll be the only one for you
It keeps the flame burning no matter how far apart we are
It’s hard to find someone as loyal and as true

Some people might have some of those traits
But they will never be as complete as you
We are brought together by fate
And I am meant to live for you

Tell Me I’m Wrong

June 19th, 2007 by squall-ajl

-14 Jun 2007-

Tell Me I’m Wrong
-Alvin Lleva-

Tell me I’m wrong. . .
. . .a loving but blinded heart,
. . .a cheating and selfish tyrant,
. . .shackled with false hopes,
. . .moved with touching words,
. . .life full of uncertainties.

Tell me I’m wrong. . .
. . .a lovely flower,
. . .nectar sipped by some bees,
. . .petals remain perfectly intact,
. . .the bud barely clings from the stem,
. . .no way telling if the flower was enjoyed by a swarm.

Tell me I’m wrong. . .
. . .a trusted friend,
. . .an introduced stranger,
. . .some relaxing spirit,
. . .sober state gone,
. . .soul consumed through the night.

Tell me I’m wrong. . .
. . .perfect rendezvous,
. . .neglectful decisions,
. . .unexpected situations,
. . .a promise broken,
. . .a bleeding heart.

Tell me I’m wrong. . .
. . .a new seed planted,
. . .a new flower meant to bloom,
. . .words of assurance, maybe lies,
. . .a patient soul waiting,
. . .a rival making the harvest.

Tell me I’m wrong. . .
. . .a battle tested heart,
. . .a fragile, naïve soul,
. . .innocence exploited,
. . .conscience be damned,
. . .intentions unclear.

Tell me I’m wrong. . .
. . .filled with attention,
. . .a friend forgotten,
. . .slumped in loneliness,
. . .a friend remembered,
. . .a vicious cycle.

Tell me I’m wrong. . .
. . .tearful goodbyes,
. . .memories treasured and kept,
. . .traces of crocodile tears,
. . .waiting upon arrival of a new wave,
. . .oh well, life goes on. . .

Tell me I’m wrong. . .
. . .the flame has died out,
. . .not a chance of rekindling,
. . .a desperate heart in denial,
. . .hoping for acceptance that never existed,
. . .a painful lesson learned.

I Will

June 6th, 2007 by squall-ajl

06 Jun 2007-

I Will
-Alvin Lleva-

You try to pretend that you are strong
Holding back your tears for so long
Know that on my shoulders, you can cry
And your tears, I’ll wipe them dry

And I will cheer you up that’s what I’ll do
Or cry with you if that would please you
Make you forget about the past
And fill you with love that’s going to last

The darkness of your past will never bother me
And the gossips that I always hear
I’ll accept you completely
Come to me, you’ll be safe here

And I will ease your pain if you’ll let me
Or you can share them with me
Make you look forward to life
And keep you from dealing with strife

You do not need to cry every night
Nor wish to end your life
Just let me show you the light
And what good there is to life

And I will be a friend that you can keep
To help heal your wounds no matter how deep
Make you realize you’re not alone
And find you when you’re lost, I’ll guide you home

I’ll Just Walk Away

May 31st, 2007 by squall-ajl

29 May 2007-

I’ll Just Walk Away
-Alvin Lleva-

I know for a while I’ve been living in the dark
Keeping and believing all the things you’ve said in my heart
And hoping that there are still feelings that remain
I believed in lies, I’m left in vain

Your words were my truth though I don’t understand why
You came, you lingered, you held on fast, and then you said goodbye
And who will believe all the reasons that were told?
Only me, for I was completely sold

I know that you’re hiding things, was it so that you won’t hurt me?
And though it might hurt, all I ask is for you not to lie to me

I came to find out; you’ve given someone else your heart
I felt my whole world had just fell apart
But there’s no reason to hate
I’ll just walk away
To ease the pain and let my wounds heal, they won’t close if I stay

I could stay away, and just let the days go by
But all I see is your face as I look up in the sky
I’ve laid my hopes and dreams of you into rest
And believe me when I tell you I wish you all the best

I hope it will bring you smile, whenever you remember me
And not guilt, for I don’t want you to feel bad for me

I’ll be a voice from the past that showered you words of love
While you gave someone else your love
But there’s no reason to hate
I’ll just walk away
To ease the pain and let my wounds heal, they won’t close if I stay

I know there’s a whole new world waiting for me
Though the sound of my voice will reveal how much you mean to me
But I know we’ll carry on
I’ll just walk away
To ease the pain and let my wounds heal, they won’t close if I stay

I Will See You There

May 31st, 2007 by squall-ajl

-28 May 2007-

I Will See You There
-Alvin Lleva-

There must be a place, where skies are clearer
Just vivid blue
I know there’s somewhere, where all our prayers
Can all come true
If we can go there, just us together
Just me and you
Oh would it be a perfect place for us
Where no one could separate us

What a better place, where we don’t worry
Of what others say
Where you can hold me, with no guilt to carry
Do as we may
Where every night I can kiss you good night
And be right by your side
If there is such a place I will go there
That must be the only place where we can be together
Meet me there; oh I will see you there

I know that destiny led me to you
But in the wrong place and time that’s why I lost you
But somewhere out there, I’ll wait for you
Even forever, as long as I can hold you
Never again lose you
Tell you that forever I’ll love you

Will you come with me?
Will you meet me in that place meant for you and me?
Oh listen to me, I’m not crazy
Please believe me, there’s somewhere for you and me

There must be a place where we don’t suffer
And shed no tear
I know there’s somewhere, where constant laughter
Is all you hear
We’ll never find it here
Where every morning you’ll be the first one I see
And never leave by your side
If there is such a place I will go there
That must be the only place where we can be together
Meet me there; oh I will see you there

I’ll wait for you…
Please don’t take too long…
I will see you there…

I Can’t Deny That I Loved Her

May 31st, 2007 by squall-ajl

25 May 2007-

I Can’t Deny That I Loved Her
-Alvin Lleva-

I can’t deny that I loved her
Just can’t deny that I loved her
I can pretend and show that I don’t care
Taking all things for granted
And hiding all those tears that I’ve shed

I can’t deny I missed the feeling
I can’t deny I missed the joy she bring
Why should it all have to just end up like this?
I can’t deny I missed her kiss

I can’t live with a heart that’s full of hate
It’s not gonna take me anywhere
I’ll just hope for a better fate
Things worse than this happen everywhere
And lamenting won’t bring her back to me
I’ll let it be

I can’t deny that I’m still dreaming
Of a better life to spend with her
Why should I live my life pretending?
I can’t deny that I loved her

I can’t deny that I loved her
I can’t deny that I loved her
I know time will come for this pain to ease
Then I can just leave her in peace
But I just can’t deny, I cannot lie
Oh I just can’t deny, that I still love her

Who Else Can Have My Love?

May 31st, 2007 by squall-ajl

22 May 2007-

Who Else Can Have My Love?
-Alvin Lleva-

For all these years you’ve been waiting for me
You have been alone, longing to be with me
Despite my absence you’ve loved me faithfully
Can anybody else give that kind of love you’ve given me?
How were you able to love so patiently?

Who else can have my love? No one but you
You always make me strong when I think of you
I know I will be safe as long as I have you
There’s no need to look around for no one will be as true
How can I waste those dreams that I shared with you?
I know someday we’ll make all of them come true
Who else can have my love? No one but you

Sometimes I’m blinded with false emotions, I fail to see
When people deceive me
It has always been you who believed in me
Can anybody else do that for me?
You have all of me

Who else can have my love? No one but you
You help me fight my battles and I’ll win them for you
There’s no trial too hard, I know we will get through
No one will ever love me as much as you do
How can I break those promises that I made for you?
Know that someday I will fulfill them all for you
Who else can have my love? No one but you

Bring Me Into Your Arms

May 31st, 2007 by squall-ajl

20 May 2007 –

Bring Me into Your Arms
-Alvin Lleva-

You bring peace into my heart
You were my life from the start
You complete me, you keep my sanity
Bring me back right into your arms
Where I am safe, away from harm

You are my star in the gloomy skies
You are my truth, amidst the lies
You are my light, even in my darkest nights
Bring me back right into your arms
Where I am safe, away from harm

You revive me, when life escapes from me
Bring me back right into your arms
Where I am safe, away from harm

Who else can have my love?
When I know to you there’s no one else above?

I Will Cherish You

May 31st, 2007 by squall-ajl

-01 May 2007-

I Will Cherish You
-Alvin Lleva-

Whenever I try to get out of the blue
I would just sit down and I think of you
Reminiscing memories of you
All those happy days I spent with you

I’m holding thoughts of all the days gone by
When I was lost and you’ve helped me get by
We know it’s hard for us to say goodbye
But we also know that we can’t deny
That my time to go is just nearby

I’ll keep fond memories, most of them ‘bout you
You will be in my heart, I will cherish you
Even miles apart and I might never see you
In my heart you will stay, I will cherish you

We’ve gone so far in just a little time
We were in tune and we were in rhyme
The moments that we shared were just sublime
Whenever I’m with you I want to stop the time
I know wishing for you is not a crime

I’ll keep fond memories, most of them ‘bout you
You will be in my heart, I will cherish you
Even miles apart and I might never see you
In my heart you will stay, I will cherish you

We’ve shared good times and bad times too
But we have both stayed true
To our feelings and that’s what helped us get through
That’s how I will remember you

On a bad night if I want to get through
I will just pray that I dream about you
To forget about you is just hard to do
‘Cause I get over with sorrow when I think of you
And for that I would like to thank you

I’ll keep fond memories, most of them ‘bout you
You will be in my heart, I will cherish you
Even miles apart and I might never see you
In my heart you will stay, I will cherish you

To bring back good memories, I’ll just think of you
You will be in my mind, I will cherish you
If I don’t get the chance to lay my eyes on you
Just always remember, I will cherish you